It happened one day, as a small French town
Prepared for the Apocalypse,
That a two-foot long Iguana was found sunning itself
In Spokane. As the
Port-a-potty Peeping Tom
Arrested at yoga festival,
Refused to believe that flaxseed
Does not help with hot flashes,
That geese at airports
Could be cooked for the poor.
The happenings that day, a litany:
Police shoot gator twice,
Then realize it’s fake.
A dog accidentally runs marathon
A Doomsday dream, prompted
A Flemish man to build
And a Winnipeg couple had a dream
Star Wars wedding.
And now as I watch from outside my body,
Vaporizing in the solar flash,
I wonder if that reptile,
Blithely catching rays in the Inland Pacific Northwest
Was no mere omen, but actually responsible
For these frozen northern nuptials,
Unimaginably melted in the stream
Of cosmic light and heat.
Sacred blue, Virginia!
The death star is real.
Don’t ask why there should be another day,
When it happened like this.
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Also check out Vacant: A municipal end-times ghost story