It happened like this


It happened one day, as a small French town

Prepared for the Apocalypse,

That a two-foot long Iguana was found sunning itself

In Spokane. As the

Port-a-potty Peeping Tom

Arrested at yoga festival,

Refused to believe that flaxseed

Does not help with hot flashes,

That geese at airports

Could be cooked for the poor.


The happenings that day, a litany:

Police shoot gator twice,

Then realize it’s fake.

A dog accidentally runs marathon

For cancer.

A Doomsday dream, prompted

A Flemish man to build

An ark.

And a Winnipeg couple had a dream

Star Wars wedding.


And now as I watch from outside my body,

Vaporizing in the solar flash,

I wonder if that reptile,

Blithely catching rays in the Inland Pacific Northwest

Was no mere omen, but actually responsible

For these frozen northern nuptials,

Unimaginably melted in the stream

Of cosmic light and heat.

Sacred blue, Virginia!

The death star is real.

Don’t ask why there should be another day,

When it happened like this.


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Also check out Vacant: A municipal end-times ghost story


















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